I have now been working on and creating this blog for just over 7 months. And I am deciding it is time to bid a fond farewell. This blog was my very first ever writing project. In fact I hardly would have considered myself a writer at the on-set of this project. Writing the now 252 articles for Breathe has been one of the greatest experiences I have ever come across. I have come to see myself in a new light from emerging as I have through publishing Breathe. I would like to take this time and space of my last article to thank my readers.
You have all given me new hope. Writing has become the cornerstone of my daily activity. And without all of you it would not provide me with the sense of purpose that it has. I can now see how much good can come from the harsh and difficult circumstances that have been thrust upon me. My work as an advocate for others who are mentally ill will continue. And I am not going to stop writing either.
I have 2 local magazines in which I will have columns.They both have on-line locations so those of you that are interested may continue to read my work. The first of these 2 publications I will write for on a semi-annual basis. It may be found on-line at tomorrowsbuilders.org. The other I will be writing for at least once a month and as much as weekly. It may be found on-line at vermontviews.org.
I hope that in addition to this blog and my 2 columns that I will one day write a book. I would have never had enough belief in my own ability to say that I would do anything like writing a book 7 months ago. I owe this blog and all of those who have faithfully read my articles for that. And so I will use the last words that I will publish on this blog to again say thank you and goodbye.
Friday, February 8, 2013
Monday, February 4, 2013
Question of Sexuality
In my adolescence I ran with a fast crowd. In my close circle of friends some of us swore to only having one night stands. I remember stories of friends having sex behind dumpsters. And I myself had a sexual encounter in an alley. I was still even in that time taken back by how sexually inhibited most people were.
Time went on and I began to feel more and more awkward expressing my sexuality. This is as I found more and more that others were more guarded than I had expected. I can remember many occasions in which I expected relationships I had developed to move along more quickly than they had. My preconceived notion of how people would interact sexually was starkly different from what I experienced.
My awkwardness around my sexuality grew over time and was compounded by my symptoms of schizophrenia. In my early 20's I withdrew from the world I lived in. This was largely due to paranoia but may have been in part due to a feeling of separation from myself to my peers. I was by that time in my life very confused about how people interacted with each other. And why I was so different from everyone else.
I have since my early 20's had very few sexual encounters. And I literally have not had one steady girlfriend in that time. I have in a way been cast aside by society. I have come to be just as guarded and inhibited as the people whom I never really understood. I wonder how much we are all alike. And how many others out there can relate to this story. One day I may know how others feel on this matter of sexuality. However, today it is still a question I have that is left unanswered.
Time went on and I began to feel more and more awkward expressing my sexuality. This is as I found more and more that others were more guarded than I had expected. I can remember many occasions in which I expected relationships I had developed to move along more quickly than they had. My preconceived notion of how people would interact sexually was starkly different from what I experienced.
My awkwardness around my sexuality grew over time and was compounded by my symptoms of schizophrenia. In my early 20's I withdrew from the world I lived in. This was largely due to paranoia but may have been in part due to a feeling of separation from myself to my peers. I was by that time in my life very confused about how people interacted with each other. And why I was so different from everyone else.
I have since my early 20's had very few sexual encounters. And I literally have not had one steady girlfriend in that time. I have in a way been cast aside by society. I have come to be just as guarded and inhibited as the people whom I never really understood. I wonder how much we are all alike. And how many others out there can relate to this story. One day I may know how others feel on this matter of sexuality. However, today it is still a question I have that is left unanswered.
Friday, February 1, 2013
My New Cause
This being my 250th blog article I would like to share with you what the process of creating this body of work has taught me. It is that if you are diligent in your effort to share something positive with the world you will create opportunity for yourself. I have not always been one to believe ruling forces in the universe that provide for mankind. And I am still a skeptic anyway. What I do know is that people value and appreciate efforts that are made to serve something greater than we are ourselves.
As a direct result of publishing this blog I have begun speaking publicly. I will speak next in Vermont's capitol to our legislators. And in telling a friend of this event including the subject I intend to speak on my friend's friend gave me a helpful tip. The subject I will speak on is the state of mental healthcare in the corrections system. The tip was of a nation wide magazine that is about prisoners and their cause. I am hopeful my story of going from being incarcerated myself to speaking to legislators will be published. My advocacy work is now just beginning and the best is yet to come. I am sure.
As a direct result of publishing this blog I have begun speaking publicly. I will speak next in Vermont's capitol to our legislators. And in telling a friend of this event including the subject I intend to speak on my friend's friend gave me a helpful tip. The subject I will speak on is the state of mental healthcare in the corrections system. The tip was of a nation wide magazine that is about prisoners and their cause. I am hopeful my story of going from being incarcerated myself to speaking to legislators will be published. My advocacy work is now just beginning and the best is yet to come. I am sure.
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